Beyond Belief
by Black-Angel-001
Summary: Latest instalment: Duo broke Relena's protective seal! Dun dun duuun! Whatever will her big brother Millardo do? Be warned, this chapter is a dialouge chapter .
1. Why You Don't Visit a Haunted House

**Beyond Belief**

**Black-Angel-001: shinigami4986 helped me come up with this...**

**Beyond Belief**

It was dark. Weird sounds were emitting from somewhere. A forest was on each side of the vehicle driving down and old dirt road. No moon was out.

"Damn it Duo, would you stop with the funky sounds!" cried an aggitated/freaked out/ angry Trowa.

"But I wanna see the plantation!" whined Duo. "Please!"

"No! We are not going there!" responded Quatre.

"Why?" Trowa looked at 02 through the rearview mirror.

"Because it's haunted."

"But Wufei can perform an exorcism," argued Duo.

"The hell I will! Haven't you seen 'The Exorsist'!" shouted Wufei.

"I love that movie! Wait, the original 'Exorsist' movie or 'Exorsist: The Beginning'?"

"The latter."

"Oh my god, the part with the witch doctors's bones was actually busting through their skin was awesome!" Quatre gave Yuy a weird look. The Perfect Soilder watched horror movies...

"That is exactly why I wouldn't even if I knew how to perform an exorsism."

"I WANNA GO TO THE PLANTATION!" bellowed Duo.

"We already said no so"

"NINETY NINE BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL, NINETY NINE BOTTLES OF BEER..."

"Okay, okay, just shut up already!"

When they arrived at the plantation, it was a few minutes past ten. It wasn't quiet, like everyone had expected. Instead, workmen were tearing, ripping, digging and doing all sorts of constructiony things. Suddenly, a huge spotlight sined on their car and men were running toward them. It appeared that they were armed. The reaction of the former Gundam pilots was thus:

"Holy shit, we're gonna die!"

"Get us the hell out of here, Barton!"

"It's all your fault Duo!"

"Hurry, I think one of them is lining us up in his sight!"

"I want my mommy!"

The only damage done to the car was a broken back windsheild from a shotgun.


	2. Daulphin Island Parkway Part One

**Beyond Belief**

**Black-Angel-001: okay, not many people reviewed for the first chapter... C'MON PEOPLE IT'S NOT FRIGGIN' ROCKET SCIENCE! JEEZ SOME PEOPLE...my ranting is done. for now. i took out the challenge part because not many seem to respond to it well...for the people who did say something though...**

**shinigami 4986: yeah, i know you can't say anything...you are always the one driving the car...**

**chikara yuy: and you can't guess either cause you're there sometimes.**

**...(sorry dude, i forgot your name): YES! YOU WERE RIGHT! HOW THE HELL DID YOU KNOW? THANK YOU FOR BEING THE ONLY ONE ACTUALLY ABLE TO GET THE CORRECT ANSWER!**

**ANSWER TO LAST CHAPTER: BOTH FACT AND FICTION. WE DID GO TO A PLANTATION, WE DID HAVE A SPOTLIGHT SHINED ON US, WE DID DEBATE IT BECAUSE IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE HAUNTED, BUT WE DID NOT GET SHOT AT BY CONSTRUCTION WORKERS! ALTHOUGH IN ALABAMA I DON'T THINK IT WOULD BE A PROBLEM FOR SOME PEOPLE TO DO THAT...**

**Black-Angel-001: if anyone still wants to guess, go ahead, i don't care.**

**Beyond Belief**

"We're going the wrong way," commented Heero.

"How would you know Heero!" snapped Wufei. "Have you ever been there?"

"Honestly, no," Heero said calmly, "but I know we're going the wrong way."

"Just shut up!"

Hours before (and I do mean hours, like ten hours before) Sally had called asking the boys to go into Daulphin Island Parkway to pick up a friend of hers. Well, they all owed her a favor or two so they had no choice but to oblige. After driving down the interstate for a while, two exits had popped up. There was a choice of going through Mississippi or Florida. Wufei had chosen the Mississippi.

And now, they were driving down a secluded road where the cows outnumbered the people. They thought. Once the others began to complain about the too long drive and the fact that no fast food resturant was seen, Wufei was forced to swallow his pride and commit and very illigal U-turn. When they returned to the exits, Wufei took Florida's exit.

Just like Heero suggested.

"See, I told you," Heero snickered.

"Shut up."

"No, I outsmarted you on this so I'm going to relish it."

And so Heero did until Wufei finally got fed up and reached around and smacked Heero. Then he quite. For a while anyway.

The Daulphin Island Parkway turnpike was nothing but a 100 degree turn. Wufei hit it going 65 MPH. Driving down the street, Duo peered out the window. His eyes grew wide.

"Uh, guys...do you know that we're in the ghetto? In a black man's car? Full of four white people and one Chinese man?" Duo gazed at his friends.

**Black-Angel-001: this is part one, part two is coming up soon.**


	3. Daulphin Island Parkway Part Two

**Beyond Belief**

**Black-Angel-001: PART TWO OF PART ONE...**

**Beyond Belief**

"Uh, guys...do you know that we're in the ghetto? In a black man's car? Full of four white people and one Chinese man?" Duo gazed at his friends.

"What?" asked Trowa in disbelief.

"In the ghetto, in black man's car, white people and Chiniese man. Not a good combination," said a serious Duo.

"And apparently, neither is complete sentances that actual obey the laws of the English language," snickered Quatre.

"Whatever, I speak in complete sentances."

"Sure you do."

Heero looked around them. English language be damned, Duo was right. For once. Wait, he had wondered why Sally had been so hesitant during their phone conversation...

**HEERO'S PHONE CONVERSATION WITH SALLY THE NIGHT BEFORE**

'Ring, ring ri-'

"Yuy here," answered Heero in his usual unemotional voice.

"Hello Heero, it's Sally. Listen, I'm calling in a favor that you owe me," the somewhat cheery doctor said.

"Hn."

"There's a friend of mine who lives in Daulphin Island Parkway. I want to show him some new medical instruments that we'll be using in the future, but he doesn't have a way to get here. Could you pick him up and bring him here for me?"

Heero considered. "Where does he live?"

"Daulphin Island Parkway," replied Sally.

"Isn't that the place where-"

"Oh, thank you so much Heero!" Sally interupted hastily. "The other guys can go with you as backup."

"What do you mean by th-"

The dial tone sounded in his ears.

**PRESENT TIME**

So now he knew the thing about the 'backup'. They drove slowly, trying to see if they could pin point Adam Johnson. They couldn't. Pulling into the back of a Hearts Chicken parking lot, Wufei called Sally.

"Woman, where is he? We have yet to find him!"

"Don't worry, you'll know him when you see him. He'll have on a light blue t-shirt and black pants." Click.

Wufei stared incrediously at his phone. The ignorant woman had hung up on him!

"Hey guys, wanna hear a joke?" Duo asked his friends.

"Sure, Duo, what is it?" Trowa said absent mindedly.

"Three kids were talking about what they got for Christmas..." Quatre knew where this was going.

"NOT ONE MORE WORD DUO MAXWELL!"

"What! There's nothing wrong with it!"

"Maybe you should recall your own words. Four WHITE males in the GHETTO in a BLACK MAN'S CAR! And your joke was going to get us killed!"

"I'm sorry," sulked 02.

Minutes later, Duo began to giggle. Suddenly, he pointed to a man walking past them.

"Is that him?"

"Stop pointing at people."

"Is that him?" Duo pointed to another person.

For five minutes Duo continued to point and ask 'Is that him?' while he was answered with 'Duo stop it', 'Duo, that's enough', 'Damn it, quit!' and so on. Finally, Wufei turned around in his seat and grabbed the hand Duo was using to point with. His next few words were let out in a low growl.

"If you don't stop that right now, I am going to break your finger and then, if we get out of here alive, your neck. Got it?" Duo nodded. "Good." The same instant Wufei turned back around, a black man in a light blue t-shirt and black pants nocked on Trowa's window. They all screamed.

Outside the car, Adam and his older brother looked at each other.

"What's wrong with them?" Adam asked no one in particular.

"They must be on some kind of messed up crack." His brother shook his head. "Sure you want to ride with these guys?"

"I don't have much of a choice. See ya."

**TWO HOURS LATER**

Sally wasn't very happy. The boys had been late and they had scared Sally's friend. This did not bode well. And so she did horrible things to them, so horrible that they can not be repeated here.

**Black-Angel-001: so ends the dip series. there will be more.**


	4. The Master Swordsman

**Beyond Belief**

**Black-Angel-001: the daulphin island parkway thing...uh, that's a true. my best friend's boyfriend called, told us to come pick him up, and we got lost getting there. we debated over taking the florida or mississippi exit, my best friend ended up being right, and when we got there, we really did get freaked out. my best friend's little sister told the joke that duo tried to tell, my brother pulled off the duo, shin did the threatning, and my best friend's boyfriend really didn't want to go with us. so, it's all true!**

**Beyond Belief**

Duo was hosting a Christmas party. Bright, colorful lights had been put up, a huge Pine tree set up in the living room, decorated, and food and punch were set up as well. Everyone was invited, and so far, a little over half the people who had been invited had shown up. Then, one guy named Bryan, had shown up with various types alcohol. Knowing that Quatre wouldn't approve, Bryan and Duo put some of the Jack Daniels in the punch. Wufei became addicted to it, and soon became drunk.

"I'm the best swordsman in the world!" slurred the Chinese man. "No one can beat me!"

After half an hour of Wufei carrying on like that, everyone grew tired of it. Plus, everyone was also drunk and some were getting headaches because they weren't used to it. Noin stumbled to Wufei's location, stood right in front of him, stared him straight in the eye, and spoke.

"I know someone who can beat you."

"Nope! You're wrong! I'm the best, best, best, best, best!" sang Wufei.

"He can beat you 'cause he's done it before."

"Oh, yeah? Who is it?"

"Treize."

Wufei blinked rapidly. Could it be? No, she was lying. That was it, she was lying. But then Wufei realized her words were true and his world crumbled.

"NOOOOOO!" With that he ran up the stairs and then into his room. All was quiet. The normal hustle and bustle of a party returned and Wufei and his escapade was forgotten for the moment. Snow had begun to fall rapidly, causing the cold weather to turn even colder. After about an hour, something streaked by. When I say streaked, I do mean streaked. Wufei had come running full speed down the stairs and out the front door as naked as the day he was born. In his hand he carried one of his many katanas. Again all was quiet. They heard Wufei screaming in the front yard. Curious and a little worried, everyone went outside.

Wufei was running around in circles in the front yard, waving his katana around and screaming, "I'M THE MASTER SWORDSMAN! I'M THE MASTER SWORDSMAN! MEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEME! I'M THE MASTER WAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!"

Zechs and Heero rushed forward. While Zechs held him, Heero took the sword away. They proceeded to drag him back inside, Wufei protesting the entire way.

Wufei didn't remember what he'd done, nor the beating Sally Po gave him for that little stunt. He did remember, though, laying on his bed feeling like the Fly from that one scene. He vaugly remembered calling out, "Help me! Help me!" The room spun around him like a Roulette Wheel, and the toliet in his bathroom kept telling him to talk to it. At his expence, Wufei's misfourtune was laughed at.

**Black-Angel-001: ...remember guys, everyone's drunk so they're supposed to act out of charecter.**


	5. He Couldn't Turn It On!

**Beyond Belief**

**Black-Angel-001: shin's friend threw a party and he got drunk and did the whole 'i'm the masterswordsman' stuff...it's true and if ya don't believe me, hate it for ya! still good entertainment right? ((the crowds of people that had surrounded me leave)) RIGHT? HEY, I'M TALKIN' TO YOU!**

**Disclaimer: Not mine, and right now I don't wish it was either...**

**Beyond Belief**

It was dark, and quiet, and spooky. Okay, not really, but it was really, really, really dark. Why? Because someone, namely Wufei, had forgotten to pay the power bill. Thus, the power had been cut off. Everyone was just a little pissed at this, but it's not like they haven't done the same thing before, right? Anyway, Trowa had managed to borrow a generator from a friend who lives in a place where bad storms hit every summer...fortunatly, it was winter so Trowa would have been SOL if it had been summer. So, now it was about nine at night, it was freezing, and Heero couldn't turn the generator on.

"Is there gas in it?" Duo asked while jumping up and down to keep warm.

"Yes. The guy told me that he always keeps gas in it," replied Trowa through chattering teeth.

"Then what the hell is wrong with it?" No one said anything about Quatre cursing. They were too busy trying to keep warm. Finally, Duo went outside to help Heero. After a few minutes, the heater came on and everyone breathed a sigh of relief. When the two came back in, Heero went straight to bed. Duo sat down on a chair.

"Well? What happened?" asked Wufei.

"You know, Heero just kept pulling the cord. He kept pulling and pulling and pulling but he just couldn't turn it on. Then, we looked at everything, found the spark plug wire was disconnected, connected it, then Heero pulled it once and it turned on," explained Duo.

Trowa started laughing. They turned to him, wondering what was so funny. Then they caught on. When Heero came downstairs to inquire about the laughing, his friends took one look at him and just laughed harder.

**Black-Angel-001: you've got to have a certain mindset for this one you guys. good luck!**


	6. Always Together, Never Apart

**Beyond Belief**

**Black-Angel-001:...after katrina, my dad borrowed a generator from a friend, had it for a few days and yeah...the fifth chapter explains the rest...**

**Beyond Belief**

It was quiet. Too quiet. Wufei frowned. Usually, at this time of the afternoon, Maxwell was causing chaos and trouble. The police were usually at their front door, telling them that if things didn't get toned down, someone would be arrested. They hadn't been by today yet. This could have been a good thing or a bad thing. Apparently, Wufei wasn't the only one who had this opinion, as Heero, Trowa, and Quatre joined him at the kitchen table.

"Has anyone seen Duo?" Quatre asked, looking around the talbe at his friends.

"No, not even for breakfast, which is strange," Trowa commented.

"I agree," nodded Wufei. "Is he in the house?"

As if to answer his question, there was a distinct male scream. Then the stomping of feet. Duo appeared in the doorway, cringing.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" asked Heero.

Duo didn't answer, but instead walked around the kitchen table where his friends sat. He paid extra close attention to where Heero and Trowa sat: across from each other. Duo's sigh of relief was audible.

"What? What's wrong?" Quatre looked around.

"I was up almost all night making little stick figures and stuff, along with buildings and gundam figure stuff. After that, I painted them and laid them out to dry. I left to take a bath and when I came back, 'Trowa' was on top of 'Heero', 'Trowa's' head on the end of 'Heero' and" Duo shuddered. "What I saw in my mind was not pretty. The bad thing was, 'Trowa' wouldn't get off 'Heero'."

For a moment, no one said anything. Then, a series of 'Ew, that's disgusting' and 'Oh my GOD' went around the room. Duo began leaving but something held his shirt collar. He turned his head to find a very pissed off Heero behind him. Trowa wasn't that far behind Heero.

"Tell me you are joking and live. Otherwise, you death will be slow, painful, and neverending," warned Heero. Duo thought about it, and since he couldn't tell a lie, nodded that it was in deed true.

The only reason the cops showed up that day was because the neighbors reported strange sights and sounds coming from the house. When they arrived, it turned into a murder case, which Trowa and Heero readily admitted to. Eventually, no one would convict them because they were too scared and Duo was found hanging upside down from an oak tree branch, alive but not well.

**Black-Angel-001: sorry for lack of updating! busy busy busy busy!**


	7. Here, Kitty, Kitty, Kitty

**Beyond Belief**

**Black-Angel-001: Stuffed bobcat to loving home. Cannot keep. Eats practically nothing and very easy to entertain. Please call for information at...**

**Beyond Belief**

"Duo, what is that?"

Maxwell looked up from the workbench in his garage to follow the line of direction Heero's finger was making.

"It's a stuffed bobcat," was the matter of fact reply as he went back to his car part.

"I can see that," Heero said drily. "I meant, what is it doing on the hood of your truck?"

"Oh. Well you could've just asked that to begin with." Duo set down the part and swung around on his stool to watch Heero walk around the front of his truck. "I'm still trying to think of a place to put it. I tried near the door but when Wufei and Saly came by, Wufei nearly drew his gun. Then I tried near the front bathroom and Trowa didn't notice it until he came out and he left to get a lion so we could be on even ground, according to him. Then it got put in the living room and Quatre gave me a lecture about hunting animals and stuffing them so I put it out here just to shut him up."

"What about your room," suggested Heero with amusement.

Duo shook his head and sighed sadly. "It scares Hilde. She slept on the pullout until I moved it to the front door."

They both stared at the stuffed animal for a while. The cat was lean, strected to nearly it's full length, paws out and claws extended, looking ready to take down it's prey. Heero tilted his head to one side.

"Where in the world did you get this?"

"Some woman who put it out after the storm."

Heero looked at him and raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Yep." Duo's face squished together in thought. "What about a hood ornament? Looks fine where it is."

"Duo, please, think of the legal ramifications and besides, I don't think it would last very long."

Another sigh. "You're right." His face broke into a mischievious grin. "Landlady called."

"Bugging you about rent," Heero guessed.

"Nope. Said we couldn't have pets in the house."

Heero could be heard laughing all the way down the street.

**Black-Angel-001: i'm seriously asking if anyone wants a stuffed bobcat. we picked one up in texas, for some reason it DOES qualify as a pet (but the living dog that stays outside does NOT??) and it must go. any takers?**


	8. My Seal Broke

**Beyond Belief**

_Ring, ring, ring, ri_-

"Hello?"

"Milardo? Sh, sh, hush!"

"Relena? What is it, why are you calling at....dear Lord, two in the morning?!"

"Um, I, well, we, thought you should know: my protective seal broke."

"....."

"...."

"Your WHAT?!!!"

"See, I told you he'd freak out."

"Who are you talking to?"

"Duuuuuooooooo."

"Why is Maxwell at your house?"

"Because.....because...."

"You know what, scratch that, I don't care; how the hell did your seal break?"

'....."

"Relena, stop laughing and tell me."

"Duo kept touching it."

"....."

"You're mad, aren't you?"

"Why would I be mad? Duo Maxwell is at my sister's house, he took her virginity; what's to be mad about?"

"What? Duo didn't take my virginity."

"But you said that your protective seal broke. What else would that mean?"

"...."

"....."

"You thought that me and Duo.....that we....."

"Stop laughing, it's not funny."

"Mily, Duo broke the protective seal on my bottle of chocolate syrup!"

"....."

"....."

"Goodnight Relena."

_Click_


End file.
